From 2fd5d77bccc6671732da51a6d5ae44284a87da91 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Julio Biason Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2019 12:36:17 -0300 Subject: [PATCH] New chapter: microaggressions --- content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md | 1 + .../things-i-learnt/microaggressions/index.md | 55 +++++++++++++++++++ .../things-i-learnt/toxic-people/index.md | 2 +- 3 files changed, 57 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) create mode 100644 content/books/things-i-learnt/microaggressions/index.md diff --git a/content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md b/content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md index e2579fc..0498ed8 100644 --- a/content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md +++ b/content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md @@ -82,3 +82,4 @@ template = "section-contentless.html" * [You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way](learn-about-yourself) * [Pay Attention On How People React To You](watch-reactions) * [Beware of Toxic People](toxic-people) + * [Beware of Microaggressions](microaggressions) diff --git a/content/books/things-i-learnt/microaggressions/index.md b/content/books/things-i-learnt/microaggressions/index.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b603fc6 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/books/things-i-learnt/microaggressions/index.md @@ -0,0 +1,55 @@ ++++ +title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - Beware of Microaggressions" +date = 2019-07-23 + +[taxonomies] +tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "microaggressions"] ++++ + +Microaggressions are defined as "brief, everyday exchanges that send +denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group +membership". The hardest part is that they don't sound aggressive. + + + +Although I'm not part of an oppressed group, I've been microattacked more than +once, by the same person. + +At some point, he mentioned that one couldn't talk bad about someone "around +some people". That "someone" was a politician that got arrested for, +basically, stealing from the country to promote a certain other company. The +way that person said it, thought, made it seem I felt it was wrong to arrest +the politician. + +Another time, I was casually saying that I shouldn't have come to work on my +motorbike, although three forecast apps said it wouldn't rain. His comment: "I +just looked outside". + +It may seem innocuous reading those, but if you look closely, all he was +trying to do was do let me down. Oh no, I'm part of a group that thinks +politicians shouldn't be arrested! Oh no, I'm not smart enough to look +outside, while he is![^1]. + +And those are really hard to fight, 'cause we aren't prepared to "get" those +as real attacks. + +On top of that, HR people are not really prepared to understand those (it will +always fall into the "it was just a joke"[^2] excuse and you'll be the +troublemaker[^3]). + +The worst part? While you don't fully get it as an attack, it will slowly pile +up. At some point, you may even burst into attacking the person back, with all +the concentrated attacks in a single moment. And them _you_ will be seen as +aggressive, not them. + +Better just stay away and avoid contact if possible. + +[^1]: In the end, when I had to leave work to go back home, it wasn't raining. + +[^2]: ... which is the pure definition of "Schoddinger's Asshole": Someone + that make a comment and, by the other people reaction, call it a joke as a + "get out of jail" card. + +[^3]: And I do wish you have a HR department that understand microaggressions. + +{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/toxic-people", prev_chapter_title="Beware of Toxic People") }} diff --git a/content/books/things-i-learnt/toxic-people/index.md b/content/books/things-i-learnt/toxic-people/index.md index fe67afe..300acea 100644 --- a/content/books/things-i-learnt/toxic-people/index.md +++ b/content/books/things-i-learnt/toxic-people/index.md @@ -31,4 +31,4 @@ realize that you may be seen as toxic 'cause [you don't understand yourself yet](/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself) and the way [people react to you](/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions). -{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions", prev_chapter_title="Pay Attention On How People React To You") }} +{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions", prev_chapter_title="Pay Attention On How People React To You", next_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/microaggressions", next_chapter_title="Beware of Microaggressions") }}