2019 review

content/thoughts/my-2019-review.md

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+title = "My 2019 Review"
+date = 2020-01-03
+
+[taxonomies]
+tags = ["year", "2019", "review"]
++++
+
+This year, I decided to make some review of what happened last year, to me.
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+2019 can be called "The Year I Rode".
+
+In 2018 I did some presentations on [Tchelinux](https://tchelinux.org/), and
+2019 started with a "Let's just ride all the way to the border" from my
+cousin. The result is that, in 2019, I did presentations in 13 of the 15
+events Tchelinux promoted. I spoked about Rust 8 times, how people can help
+open source projects 7 times, stream processing 5 times, Python 4 times (with
+one I basically took over from another friend that couldn't get to the event)
+and testing 2 times.
+
+Honestly, I did enjoy the combination of presentations and riding. My
+psychiatrist mentioned I seemed better after all that (she basically
+complained that I should get "more in touch with nature" and such, which I
+guess it could count, if you see the amount of trees there are around the
+roads). I also got a brand new interest in the presentations, to the point
+that I'm already studying some new topics for presentations.
+
+I got so into doing technical presentations that in the end of 2019 I applied
+for the [Mozilla Tech Speakers](https://events.mozilla.org/techspeakers),
+although the answer will only come in 2020. Fingers crossed.
+
+I also rode all the way from [Porto
+Alegre](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porto_Alegre) to
+[Montevideo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montevideo), which took about 12
+hours (24 total, back and forth), just to be there for 3 days for [Rust
+Latam](https://rustlatam.org/).
+
+Speaking of Rust, this year I added "Rust in POA" as my other Meetup -- I
+already help organize PyTche and took Rust in POA when it was about to be
+deactivated. Also, I think this year I finally managed to write some code that
+actually let the compiler happy -- and I'm still using it! And I still way
+more personal projects I want to experiment in Rust.
+
+But my coding life wasn't just about Rust. This year I got deep into Java 8
+and, honestly, the experience wasn't as bad as I recalled from Java 2. Streams
+and Optionals are, basically, my everyday tools now. We are in a dysfunctional
+relationship, but it actually works.
+
+I did some other tech changes: I dropped Evernote and moved everything I had
+to [NextCloud](https://nextcloud.com/) and [Joplin](https://joplinapp.org/).
+It always bugged me that I kept pushing to "Own your platform", but my heavy
+content was in a platform I had no control over it. Now I do.
+
+Speaking of "owning your platform", I become way more active on
+[Mastodon](https://functional.cafe/@juliobiason). Although it's not running on
+my own platform (yet), it's open source and I can take my data any time I want
+-- and move to another place with no issues. You can take your
+Twitter/Facebook data, but can you put it somewhere else? I don't think so.
+
+I also moved a bunch of stuff to my [new domain](https://juliobiason.me). So,
+again, owning my platform.
+
+Out of the tech sphere, I found
+[Synthwave](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthwave), which basically is
+consuming all my music listening hours (including when I'm writing this post).
+
+So, good year, right? No so much.
+
+Since the mid of 2018, I'm feeling really burnt out, and although the change
+of pace is helping, I'm still not feeling 100% productive. I mentioned a lot
+of personal projects, but I only check them half-hour after lunch; I don't
+feel like going anywhere near code after the end of my working hours. This is
+really annoying, 'cause I have a bunch of things I want to automate, but doing
+any sort of code outside the office feels... painful. This is a complete
+different picture from 2008 (I know, that was 11 years ago) when I would get
+to work, code code code, go back home and then code some more. I have strong
+hopes of getting some vacation and finally "get fixed".
+
+Insomnia is still part of my nights. I'm taking meds now to help me sleep. The
+only good side of this is that it help me read 32 books this year (you may
+have seen the reviews in this blog).
+
+2019 was also the year I feared for some friends. There is a strong alt-right
+movement in the country -- specially after the alt-right candidate was elected
+-- and I feared mostly for my friends. I also felt guilty for not standing
+that up as I should: I'm white, male and cis, and I'm pretty sure I won't be a
+target, and that's why I should be in the front lines, but I'm too much of a
+coward to do so.
+
+Also, this year I lost two people. The first one was a new friend I made on
+Rust in POA. He was one of the people that _really_ understood Rust. I still
+feel kinda guilty about this, 'cause I saw he had some depressing posts on
+Twitter and it took me way to long to talk to him before it happened.
+
+The second person was my uncle. He was the guy who was only 13 years old than
+me, did the [Santiago de
+Compostela](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santiago_de_Compostela) pilgrimage
+route about four (or even five) times, was cycling all the time, did
+marathons. And, suddenly, heart attack. He was the guy I would expect to make
+fun of _my_ funeral.
+
+But what about 2020?
+
+First, personally, I really _really_ hoping this stupid burn out will go away
+after vacations, so I can finally fix my own digital life.
+
+Second, I'll keep my presentations. I also hope I get selected for Tech
+Speaker, only to have more stuff to talk about.
+
+Third, for the fucks sake, I hope I won't lose anyone else, 'cause even after
+all this time, I still don't know how to handle these loses (I still feel bad
+when my gramma passed away, and that was 10 years ago).