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135 lines
5.5 KiB
135 lines
5.5 KiB
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<a href="https://blog.juliobiason.me"><h1>Julio Biason .Me 4.3</h1></a> |
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<p class="lead">Old school dev living in a 2.0 dev world</p> |
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<h1 class="post-title">Things I Learnt The Hard Way - Beware of Microaggressions</h1> |
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<span class="post-date"> |
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2019-07-23 |
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<a href="https://blog.juliobiason.me/tags/books/">#books</a> |
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<a href="https://blog.juliobiason.me/tags/things-i-learnt/">#things i learnt</a> |
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<a href="https://blog.juliobiason.me/tags/personal/">#personal</a> |
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<a href="https://blog.juliobiason.me/tags/microaggressions/">#microaggressions</a> |
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<p>Microaggressions are defined as "brief, everyday exchanges that send |
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denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group |
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membership". The hardest part is that they don't sound aggressive.</p> |
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<span id="continue-reading"></span> |
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<p>Although I'm not part of an oppressed group, I've been microattacked more than |
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once, by the same person.</p> |
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<p>At some point, he mentioned that one couldn't talk bad about someone "around |
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some people". That "someone" was a politician that got arrested for, |
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basically, stealing from the country to promote a certain other company. The |
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way that person said it, thought, made it seem I felt it was wrong to arrest |
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the politician.</p> |
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<p>Another time, I was casually saying that I shouldn't have come to work on my |
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motorbike, although three forecast apps said it wouldn't rain. His comment: "I |
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just looked outside".</p> |
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<p>It may seem innocuous reading those, but if you look closely, all he was |
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trying to do was do let me down. Oh no, I'm part of a group that thinks |
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politicians shouldn't be arrested! Oh no, I'm not smart enough to look |
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outside, while he is<sup class="footnote-reference"><a href="#1">1</a></sup>.</p> |
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<p>And those are really hard to fight, 'cause we aren't prepared to "get" those |
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as real attacks.</p> |
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<p>On top of that, HR people are not really prepared to understand those (it will |
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always fall into the "it was just a joke"<sup class="footnote-reference"><a href="#2">2</a></sup> excuse and you'll be the |
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troublemaker<sup class="footnote-reference"><a href="#3">3</a></sup>).</p> |
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<p>The worst part? While you don't fully get it as an attack, it will slowly pile |
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up. At some point, you may even burst into attacking the person back, with all |
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the concentrated attacks in a single moment. And them <em>you</em> will be seen as |
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aggressive, not them.</p> |
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<p>Better just stay away and avoid contact if possible.</p> |
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<div class="footnote-definition" id="1"><sup class="footnote-definition-label">1</sup> |
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<p>In the end, when I had to leave work to go back home, it wasn't raining.</p> |
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<div class="footnote-definition" id="2"><sup class="footnote-definition-label">2</sup> |
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<p>... which is the pure definition of "Schoddinger's Asshole": Someone |
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that make a comment and, by the other people reaction, call it a joke as a |
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"get out of jail" card.</p> |
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<div class="footnote-definition" id="3"><sup class="footnote-definition-label">3</sup> |
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<p>And I do wish you have a HR department that understand microaggressions.</p> |
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<div style="float:left"> |
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<< <a href="/books/things-i-learnt/toxic-people">Beware of Toxic People</a> |
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<div style="float:right"> |
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<a href="/books/things-i-learnt/fixable">Toxic/Aggressive People Are Fixable</a> >> |
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