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Julio Biason 5 years ago
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  1. 3
      content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md
  2. 35
      content/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself/index.md
  3. 2
      content/books/things-i-learnt/not-done/index.md
  4. 22
      content/books/things-i-learnt/people-care/index.md
  5. 31
      content/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions/index.md

3
content/books/things-i-learnt/_index.md

@ -78,3 +78,6 @@ template = "section-contentless.html"
* [Learn To Say No](say-no)
* [Take Responsibility For The Use Of Your Code](responsible-code)
* [Don't Tell It's Done When It's Not](not-done)
* [People Get Upset About Code And Architecture Quality 'Cause They Care](people-care)
* [You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way](learn-about-yourself)
* [Pay Attention On How People React To You](watch-reactions)

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content/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself/index.md

@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+++
title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way"
date = 2019-07-19
[taxonomies]
tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "burn out"]
+++
We get frustrated with code that doesn't compile. We get angry with customers
asking things back and forth. We get upset when upper management can't make up
its mind. And we lash out on others when that happens.
<!-- more -->
Unfortunately, that's the way you'll learn about yourself. You'll learn to
figure out when you get frustrated. You'll learn how you can keep getting
attacked by others -- even micro-aggressions -- but, without realizing, at
some point you'll suddenly burst into an counter-attack that may seem out of
proportion.
The worst part of it all? Very few people will tell you what you're doing
before it's too late -- you'll get in trouble way before you could actually
understand what you were doing.
But, again, you'll get in trouble.
And you _must_ learn about these events. Take the feedback as true, even if
you don't agree with it. I had my falls, and I always took it as something I
need to improve, even if later I said to my psychologist that I thought it was
unfair and biased -- mostly 'cause I'm the quiet guy that always took the
blows and never complained about, and people taking the flak from me were more
vocal and friendlier to the higher-ups. But, again, I took it as true, and did
my best to work on those problems.
{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/people-care", prev_chapter_title="You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way", next_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions", next_chapter_title="Pay Attention On How People React To You") }}

2
content/books/things-i-learnt/not-done/index.md

@ -30,4 +30,4 @@ On the other hand, if you say "Almost, but there is this thing that bothers me
and I think it may give us a headache in the future", they will understand. So
be clear and transparent about your work.
{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/responsible-code", prev_chapter_title="Take Responsibility For The Use Of Your Code") }}
{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/responsible-code", prev_chapter_title="Take Responsibility For The Use Of Your Code", next_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/people-care", next_chapter_title="People Get Upset About Code And Architecture Quality 'Cause They Care") }}

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content/books/things-i-learnt/people-care/index.md

@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
+++
title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - People Get Upset About Code And Architecture Quality 'Cause They Care"
date = 2019-07-19
[taxonomies]
tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "care"]
+++
At some point, you'll describe some solution/decision about some piece of
code or some architectural design and people will seem annoyed/pissed about
it. When people care about a product/code, they do that.
<!-- more -->
Or maybe _you_ will get annoyed/pissed.
I think one of the nicest compliments I ever got was "You're annoying 'cause
you care" when we left a meeting in which we decided to cut corners and do
things halfway to beat some deadline -- or just 'cause people were not in the
mood to do things in a more complete way.
{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/not-done", prev_chapter_title="People Get Upset About Code And Architecture Quality 'Cause They Care", next_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself", next_chapter_title="You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way") }}

31
content/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions/index.md

@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+++
title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - Pay Attention On How People React To You"
date = 2019-07-19
[taxonomies]
tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "reactions"]
+++
One way you can learn about yourself is to pay attention on how people react
to your actions.
<!-- more -->
I have a "angry man resting face", which means that, even when I'm in a null
mood, it looks like I'm angry.
I already had one meeting and which I started to ask something and noticed
that the other person move a bit back. That's when I realized that didn't
sound exactly how I meant. I had to add "I'm not saying what you're proposing
is wrong, I'm just confused."
Also, I got a manager once come up with "I thought you were _the_ serious
person... till you suddenly started singing in the middle of a meeting"[^1].
You need to keep an eye on this. How is people reacting to your reactions? Are
they opening themselves to you or are they closing?
[^1]: I have this "serious" problem that, depending on the word someone says,
I recall some lyrics and suddenly start singing it.
{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself", prev_chapter_title="You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way") }}
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