Julio Biason
5 years ago
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title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way" |
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date = 2019-07-19 |
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[taxonomies] |
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tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "burn out"] |
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We get frustrated with code that doesn't compile. We get angry with customers |
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asking things back and forth. We get upset when upper management can't make up |
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its mind. And we lash out on others when that happens. |
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Unfortunately, that's the way you'll learn about yourself. You'll learn to |
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figure out when you get frustrated. You'll learn how you can keep getting |
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attacked by others -- even micro-aggressions -- but, without realizing, at |
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some point you'll suddenly burst into an counter-attack that may seem out of |
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proportion. |
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The worst part of it all? Very few people will tell you what you're doing |
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before it's too late -- you'll get in trouble way before you could actually |
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understand what you were doing. |
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But, again, you'll get in trouble. |
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And you _must_ learn about these events. Take the feedback as true, even if |
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you don't agree with it. I had my falls, and I always took it as something I |
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need to improve, even if later I said to my psychologist that I thought it was |
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unfair and biased -- mostly 'cause I'm the quiet guy that always took the |
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blows and never complained about, and people taking the flak from me were more |
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vocal and friendlier to the higher-ups. But, again, I took it as true, and did |
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my best to work on those problems. |
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{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/people-care", prev_chapter_title="You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way", next_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/watch-reactions", next_chapter_title="Pay Attention On How People React To You") }} |
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title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - People Get Upset About Code And Architecture Quality 'Cause They Care" |
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date = 2019-07-19 |
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[taxonomies] |
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tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "care"] |
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At some point, you'll describe some solution/decision about some piece of |
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code or some architectural design and people will seem annoyed/pissed about |
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it. When people care about a product/code, they do that. |
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Or maybe _you_ will get annoyed/pissed. |
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I think one of the nicest compliments I ever got was "You're annoying 'cause |
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you care" when we left a meeting in which we decided to cut corners and do |
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things halfway to beat some deadline -- or just 'cause people were not in the |
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mood to do things in a more complete way. |
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{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/not-done", prev_chapter_title="People Get Upset About Code And Architecture Quality 'Cause They Care", next_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself", next_chapter_title="You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way") }} |
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title = "Things I Learnt The Hard Way - Pay Attention On How People React To You" |
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date = 2019-07-19 |
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[taxonomies] |
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tags = ["en-au", "books", "things i learnt", "personal", "reactions"] |
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One way you can learn about yourself is to pay attention on how people react |
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to your actions. |
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I have a "angry man resting face", which means that, even when I'm in a null |
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mood, it looks like I'm angry. |
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I already had one meeting and which I started to ask something and noticed |
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that the other person move a bit back. That's when I realized that didn't |
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sound exactly how I meant. I had to add "I'm not saying what you're proposing |
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is wrong, I'm just confused." |
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Also, I got a manager once come up with "I thought you were _the_ serious |
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person... till you suddenly started singing in the middle of a meeting"[^1]. |
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You need to keep an eye on this. How is people reacting to your reactions? Are |
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they opening themselves to you or are they closing? |
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[^1]: I have this "serious" problem that, depending on the word someone says, |
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I recall some lyrics and suddenly start singing it. |
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{{ chapters(prev_chapter_link="/books/things-i-learnt/learn-about-yourself", prev_chapter_title="You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way") }} |
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